Love Always - Our Story

"It (Love) always protects, 

always trusts, 

always hopes, 

always perseveres."

I Corinthians 13:7

Love always protects. I did not protect my husband. His work was taking him away from home for long periods of time and I resented that. When he was home I didn't feel like he was giving me the attention I needed. There came a point when I assumed he didn't love me anymore. I stopped purposefully reaching out to him; stopped going out of my way trying to get his attention. He assumed I resented him. He couldn't make me happy so he pulled away from me. Long story short, it left a door open for the devil.

A little over two years ago an ex-girlfriend sent him a friend request on Facebook. He accepted that request and a short time later they began an online affair. Fortunately it never became physical. However, the emotional scars of that incident are very deep and very painful.

We did not protect ourselves. We did not protect each other.

We did learn how much we love each other and are committed to each other. We are on our guard now. What ever it takes to protect ourselves and each other not to let anything like that happen again. 

Love always trusts. Obviously trust is an issue in our relationship. We work hard at rebuilding trust. I try not to question everything. However, if I do have a question or concern he is so good about being understanding and patient with me. I have also learned that my trust isn't truly in him. I have put my trust in Jesus Christ. I know my husband is trying and he is sweet and wonderful. But I also know he isn't perfect.

I am also making sure to do everything I can not to to give him any reason to mistrust me. Fortunately it wasn't me, but it could have been. It could be any one of us at any time. The devil looks for us when and where we are weakest and takes advantage of that.

Love always hopes. I have learned to keep my chin up! Not too much to say about that. I have found a new sense of hope for my marriage and for our future. It is amazing how much optimism love brings to a pessimistic world.

Love always perseveres. This is probably my favorite part of this verse. When I found out about my husband's relationship with this other woman of course I confronted him about it. He was literally one day away from leaving. Plane ticket in hand and everything. He was hoping to make it physical and I was interfering with his plans. He was not happy. I think he might have even hated me at that moment. For whatever reason he did not leave that day. Nor the next. To say it was tense in our house might be understating things a bit. I prayed for him, but I don't think he had prayed for a long time.

I don't want to take any credit for what happened during that time. It was not my love, but the Love of God that persevered and won him back. In a surprisingly short period of time. About ten days after the whole ordeal began (for me) he came to me apologizing. We prayed together and have been praying together ever since.

We are determined to persevere. The only way we can make that happen is through the Love of God. We are imperfect people. However, we can love through each other's imperfections by showing the Love of Christ to one another and seeing the Love of Christ in one another. Love always perseveres.

Delighting in Evil

"Love does not delight in evil 

but rejoices with the truth."

 I Corinthians 13:6

When I mull this verse over it seems to me the context I have heard it preached on has predominately been about gossiping. Does it make me feel good to hear something bad about someone else? Does it matter if it's true or not? When we hear something juicy isn't our first reaction to want to share it?

If I am truly filled with the Love of God then I should be saddened to hear if something bad happens to someone. Even if that person is my 'enemy'.

Keeping in context with the rest of I Corinthians 13 it doesn't matter if someone is my family, friend, stranger or despised enemy. Love is the one constant, the most excellent way for us as Christians to share the gospel with a lost and dying world.

I will admit it has been difficult for me at times in the past to fight the urge to think, "She had that coming!" or "It's about time he answered for that!" I have a sinful nature I have to fight. However, every day I learn more and more how important it is for me to pray for God to diminish that part of me that delights in evil. I pray I will rejoice in truth. I desire my life to reflect the Love of Christ. I want others to see Him in me and want to know Him too!

The Best Friday

Today was such an awesome day. My husband just got home two days ago. I have had to work all day the last two days. Today my husband left a card in my truck for me to find on my way to work. How romantic is that? It was such a nice surprise. What a great way to start off my day. 

Then he brought me lunch. He cooked me steak and asparagus with mushrooms. It is always great to spend my lunch break with my husband. It is a nice pick-me-up for me. It helps to make the rest of my day at work seem so much better. And somehow, as crazy as it seems the time feels like it goes by quicker. 

To top my day off, when I got home from work my sweet and wonderful husband already had dinner in the works. I don't know how I got by without him while he was gone! 

 This has been the best Friday! 

How My Morning Started

I saw the sweetest thing this morning. The sweetest thing I have seen in a long time. I had to get up at an ungodly hour for work. Before I left I noticed my husband was lying on my pillow...on my side of the bed. He never sleeps on my side of the bed.


He might borrow my pillow if I am not in bed and he is sitting up watching t.v. And...he might roll over that imaginary line onto my side in the middle of the night and sleep close to me. But I don't recall ever, in eighteen years of marriage seeing him sleeping on my side of the bed. Never fully, all the way on my side. When two people are married that long they don't just switch sides!


He just got home last night from being out of town for work for 3 weeks.  I'm telling myself he missed me. It's possible he was so tired last night that when I got out of bed he got a little disoriented by all the open space and ended up on the wrong side...but I'd like to think maybe it was a little bit of missing me that drew him to the emptiness where I used to be.

I love that after all this time he can still amaze me in such a way!

This Is Where I Still Struggle

"It (love) is not rude, 

it is not self-seeking, 

it is not easily angered, 

it keeps no record of wrongs."

I Corinthians 13:5

I am ashamed to admit I have not always been polite. I can be rude. I do not always look out for the interest of others. I am selfish. I try to hold my tongue, but I admit I have a temper. And boy can I keep track of the things  someone has done to slight me! But the Bible says love is the opposite of all those things.

Fortunately I am not all those things all the time. Prayerfully, I'm not any of them very often. However, one of my greatest desires is to love with the Love of God and to be more consistent in showing that love in my life. This is most difficult for me in regards to my family. They are the people I am the closest to. You would think they would be the easiest to love. However, they are the ones who are the easiest for me to take for granted.

I am so grateful, when I do slip up I can go to my Heavenly Father and He will give me the ability to love with His love. I am also very thankful for forgiveness and second chances. I am not there yet, but every day it is my goal to be more like Christ in love by being polite, seeking what is in the best interest of others, maintaining self control and being genuinely forgiving & not keeping score.

What Is and Is Not

 "Love suffers long and is kind; 

love does not envy; 

love does not parade itself, 

is not puffed up;"

I Corinthians 13:4

It is so simple and yet so difficult to live up to. There is so much packed into just this one verse. I have heard it preached on many times and have read it more times than I can remember. Without any qualifiers we are given a list of Love's is and is not's. 

Love is patient and kind. 

Love is not jealous. 

Love is neither boastful nor prideful. 

I believe one of the biggest problems is that we put a qualifier in there somewhere. I could easily spend much more time on each one of these. Today I would like to keep it simple.

I'll be patient with Suzy's 8 month old who pulls my hair, she doesn't know any better yet. But forget that guy with more than 15 items in the 15 item or less line at the grocery store yesterday. I can say some very unkind things under my breath. There is no patience, no kindness in that situation. And guess who is standing right there witnessing the whole situation? Yep! My kiddos. 

Jealously is a huge issue. Our society teaches us to compare ourselves to each other from a very young age. We, every man, woman, boy and girl is fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. When we come to know who we are in Christ and accept others for who God made them to be, we can learn to love without being jealous. 

Recently I read a blog a very prominent pastor wrote about how we are careful to not be boastful about ourselves. But we will turn around and re-tweet things others say about us. The very same things wouldn't dare say out loud - publicly!

For myself, I try to remember it is not my love, it is God's love. I do not have to love other's under my own power. Let's face it. Most people really aren't all that love-able are they? If I had to do it under my own power I would continue to fail miserable. It is only under God's power...through His love am I able to love at all.

Some Things Better Said

Unfortunately my husband's job requires him to work out of town. This last time when he left I got to thinking about how much he means to me. When my husband is home, we leave each other notes on the bathroom mirror using window crayons. So...I took the crayons and every day I have been writing one thing I love about him.

It has been a fun and exciting exercise for me. I can't wait for him to come home so I can share this with him. 

Every day I tell my husband I love him. He knows I do. But we have been married over eighteen years. That is a long time. A fair amount of time in which to forget or overlook all the reasons I fell in love with him way back then.

I really have had a lot of fun doing this. It has inspired me to start working on another project for him. I want to find new ways to express my love for him to him and keep the romance going. 

What Motivates You?

 " If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, 

but have not love, I gain nothing."

I Corinthians 13:3

This can be a tough one. It reminds me in Matthew 7:21-23, when Jesus was saying many will say they had prophesied in His name, drove out demons and performed miracles, but he will tell them plainly He never knew them. We can have all the best intentions. We could give up all our worldly possessions and do the greatest works. But...if we do not know him...what have we gained?
     
"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matthew 16:26
   
My first thought is that we need to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Without first settling the question of our own eternal destination we will not be able to successfully further the Kingdom of God.
   
My second thought on this verse is that all we do should be done out of love. "By this all men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another." John 13:45 Not just show love and kindness to other believers, but also to those less fortunate. In Matthew 25:31-46 Jesus tells an interesting parable about how when we show his love to the less fortunate and treat them kindly we are in effect treating him the same way. Likewise when we mistreat people.
   
There is so much more to be said on love and how we treat people. There is also so much more I could go into about this verse, but I just wanted to keep it simple and highlight a couple of thoughts the Lord put on my heart today. So, I'll wind down with this: What do you hope to gain? Really...think about the result God wants you to end up with. How can you show love along the way? Are you in some way helping out those less fortunate than you? Perhaps you are the less fortunate one. Remember, you can always give of your time and pray for others. Lastly, are you motivated by a love for Christ or a love of the attention the work you do brings to yourself?

Knowledge, Faith and Love

"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, 

and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing."   

I Corinthians 13:2

     Wouldn't that be something? To know what was going to happen before it happened? To understand the greatest mysteries? To have all knowledge? And have faith that would move mountains? Yes, there is a lot I would like to have known ahead of time, to even know now. And boy do I have some mysteries I'd like solved. Certainly there are mountains I would like to move. However, I would be happy just to navigate every day life successfully and keep my check book balanced!

     But seriously, even if I had all those things the Bible says that without love I would be nothing. I could be the smartest person who ever lived and all that intelligence would be of no benefit if I didn't apply it to life with love.

     There really is a lot that could be said on this verse. I'll save it for another day. Today my thoughts are simple. Am I using the intelligence God has given me to share the gospel with others? Am I doing it in love or out of selfish motives? When mountains are moved in my life do I give God the glory or keep it for myself? Do others see His power at work in my life moving those mountains?
     For me, I have to stop and ask myself these questions from time to time. I get caught up in myself or what I am doing that don't always share what I know God wants me to with others. There are times when I am doing as I should, but it is more out of duty or obligation. I have to stop and examine my priorities and motives.
     Then there are the times when the trials come and you couldn't tell I even knew who God was...let alone that I was His child! I do not handle adversity well at all. It is my most sincere desire to do better in this area. I want for people to see God at work in my life through my trials. I have a long way to go though. One thing I have learned through my trials is that I cannot move mountains on my own. I need the supernatural help of my Heavenly Father. 

     While I was still sinning against Him, He sent His Son to die for me. (Romans 5:8) It's only right He get the honor, glory and credit for what He has done and is doing in my life.
     Lastly, I only love because He first loved me. (I John 4:7-12 gives a wonderful illustration of this)  It is reasonable He would expect me to share that love with others. I would challenge you to stop for a moment and consider how you are using the intelligence God has given you. Are you building up others or yourself? Do others see God's divine providence in your trials or victories? Are you giving Him the credit He deserves?

Speaking in Love

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, 

I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." 

I Corinthians 13:1

     When I think of 'the tongues of men and of angels' I think of clear, eloquent speech. Men speak to other men in a common understandable language. I have never heard an angel speak. However, the instances of angels addressing people in the Bible make it clear they spoke in a language understood by the listener. Angels appeared to be well spoken, eloquently.
     Even if I say all the right words and say them properly - when they are not said in love no one wants to listen. What I am communicating might be the truth, but without love it could come across harshly or condemning.
     No one wants to listen to a 'clanging cymbal'.
     Although I don't consider my speech to be eloquent by any means, I pray my words will be spoken in love, acceptable to men and pleasing to my Heavenly Father. Constantly I have to examine my motives. Is what I have to say really for the other person's benefit or mine? Especially where my children are concerned I have a terrible habit of reacting - speaking before I think about my reaction to something. Then I have to go back later and apologize for something I have said or the way I said it.
     Ephesians 4:29 gives clear instruction, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
     Are your words spoken in love, out of concern, genuinely for the benefit of the hearer? Or are your words spoken out of selfish motives for your own edification or benefit?

Appreciating the Little Things

      Driving home last night I watched the sun set behind the trees. The sky was getting dark quickly. There was a softly lit silver hue under the darkness then multi-layers of pink, red and orange. The sun was fiery burnt orange, brightly lit behind the trees. Blazing like a forest fire. I almost couldn't take my eyes off of it. It was so amazing, truly a beautiful gift from God. 

     I remember my husband and I once talked about how God didn't have to give us colors. Color is nice and all, but not really necessary to life. We could survive in black and white and be just fine. You know, we don't have to have an appreciation for such things either...and yet they captivate us. 

     It makes me think about how I stop and marvel at the big things, but sometimes overlook the little things. It is easy to stop and say to God, "Wow! What a gorgeous sunset."

     But how often do I say to my husband, "Wow! You have gorgeous eyes", "Cute Butt!" or "I love your smile"?

     They are little things I think all the time. I take them for granted. But what if some day they weren't there anymore? 

     In my effort to bring joy to the ones I love I am making an effort to let my husband know I appreciate him. I know I have taken him for granted in the past. It is easy to take our spouses for granted. It is my plan to be purposeful in my marriage. I have been sending him emails from time to time when I am thinking about a particular attribute. I let him know I love the way his corny sense of humor cheers me up or how his smile makes me want to smile too. I am making a conscious effort to send a text message and let him know when I am randomly thinking about him. I have even left him notes on the bathroom mirror just for fun.
     If I keep my appreciation for these things to myself - Yes, I am enjoying them, but he doesn't know that. Eventually he might/could come to the conclusion they aren't important to me or I don't care. I want him to know I enjoy looking at his cute butt as he walks out of the room. I need him to know how safe I feel wrapped up in his arms. He wants to hear the ways I still need him. He needs to know I appreciate how hard he works to pay the bills and provide for the needs of our family. 
     Appreciating the little things about my husband brings me joy. Sharing my appreciation of those things brings him joy. When we have a mutual, shared joy we grow closer and our marriage is made stronger.

Everything Glorious

This song has been on my mind and in my heart for a couple of days. It is very simple, yet incredibly powerful. I am notorious for bringing myself down. I get stuck on the I can'ts or I don'ts and I forget who I am in Christ. I (temporarily) forget that "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Phil 4:13  But most of the time it doesn't really matter what I can or can't, do or don't do. I need to take a minute to stop and remember Who I Am. When I remember who I am...I remember what I am supposed to do. This song's message is a reminder of who I am. I find it uplifting and encouraging.

God is glorious...  Exodus 15:6&11, Psalm 19:1
I am created in His image...  Genesis 1:27
He made everything glorious... Psalm 111:2-3 
What does that make me?
That makes me glorious...  Isaiah 49:5, 2 Corinthians 3:18
He created me, came to my rescue, then called me to be glorious. Isaiah 43
It is important for me to remember I do not have my own glory. Romans 2:6-10  I am a reflection of His glory...chosen to show His Power, His Righteousness and His Love to a lost and dying world. When I reflect His Glory I show others the Hope of Salvation and bring Honor to His name.

He made everything glorious...and I am His.
I am glorious, not of myself but through Him who calls me his own. I am supposed to reflect His glory and share His love with others. It is who I am and what I am supposed to do.

Happy New Year

     Happy New Year! Okay, so I'm a few days late...the story of my life. Actually it has been a while since I posted anything. I thought welcoming in 2012 would be a good way to get back into posting updates.
     It always amazes me how quickly the holiday's are upon us. Then how quickly they are over. I like having my family at home. I like Christmas lights and holiday decorations. I like watching the same classic movies year after year. I like playing board games with the kids. I like staying up late chatting with my husband. I like eating snacks for meals. I like to plan the surprises and build up the anticipation for Christmas morning. Then *poof * it's all over. On to another year.
     I don't usually make New Year's resolutions. My desire to do better, to be better outweighs my commitment to the things necessary to accomplish my goals. I am planning on making this year different. (I also cheated and started early.)
     Several weeks ago I listened to a message about knowing who we are in Christ. It really got me to thinking. The Bible says 'when you...' not if you... There is an expectation. When we know who we are in Christ, we will know what to do. Once we know what is expected, we should do it.
     It is my plan to seek out those expectations and just do it. So much of my life has been spent 'waiting' on others. Literally and figuratively. With the boldness of the power of Christ I would like to live my life purposefully and to the fullest. I have been neglecting some areas of life...so that's where I have started.
     Several months ago I accused my husband of taking the joy from my life. He didn't take it, I had lost it and just didn't know where to look for it. "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." John 15:11-12. 
     My first goal in being the woman God expects me to be was to put joy back in my life. If I am not happy doing something...I won't get it done. I know - it's a selfish sounding way to start, but realistically God wants us to be happy serving Him. He desires for us to be joyful. And that joy is found when we love others as He loved us.
     "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish bu have eternal life." John 3:16  
     "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
     He loved us so much that while we were in open rebellion against Him, living sinfully, He sent His one and only Son to die for us - for me. To pay the price for our sin - for my sin- and make a way for us - me as an individual - to have a personal relationship with God the father and an eternal home in heaven. 
     I don't know if I could ever give my life or that of one of my children to save another human being. But I do know I want to show that kind of love to others - and in doing so I will have the joy I desire.
     I started with my husband. I leave him notes (usually on the bathroom mirror), send him emails, text messages and give him cards telling him I am thinking about him and I love him. I have also been purposefully finding real life, physical ways of showing him I love him, that he is important to me and I want him to know it. I have been trying to make him a hot breakfast, not every day - in our house that just isn't practical, but as often as I can. Usually he does his own laundry, but I'll wash up some of his clothes occasionally. I surprised him with a book he wanted, but wouldn't/didn't buy for himself. I am consciously looking for ways I can bless him. 
     I have found I really enjoy doing these things (and there's more - too much to list). It makes him happy and it makes me happy. My joy is returning and it makes our marriage better, stronger.
    Now I am going to start doing the same things for my kids and expand my circle of joy!